WCBE 90.5 FM: "Murderball," "Dukes of Hazzard"

WCBE#229-FINAL
It's Movie Time
Co-hosts, writers & producers: John DeSando & Clay Lowe
For WCBE 90.5 FM

Reviews: “Murderball,” "Dukes of Hazzard"
Taped: 2:00 pm, August 3, 2005
Air Time: 3:01 pm and 8:01 pm, August 5, 2005
Streaming live on the web at http://www.wcbe.org .

The Script:

John
"Murderball" is a killer doc . . .

Clay
“Dukes of Hazzard” will have you putting your funny bone on orange alert . . .

MUSIC UP THEN UNDER FOR:

Richelle Antczak
"It's Movie Time" in Central-Ohio with John DeSando and Clay Lowe . . .

MUSIC BRIEFLY UP THEN SLOWLY DOWN AND OUT

John
I'm John DeSando

Clay
And I'm Clay Lowe

John (“Murderball”)
Clay, I doubt anyone seeing the documentary Murderball will ever again offer assistance to a paraplegic, much less these quadriplegic Rugby players. They compete in Paralympics like gladiators itching for a fight,they want no sympathy, they need no help, and they are better human beings than they might have been without their disabilities.

Sympathy has no seat in watching the preparations from 2002 and 2004 for the battle between the US and Canada. Who wins seems like an afterthought to their being winners before the games.

And if you thought these guys might be left out of the lovemaking game, think again: They and their chariots are chick magnets, for whom their personalities and determination are aphrodisiac enough.

Murderball is not about Rugby, of which there is too little in the film; it is about human beings doing fate in by doing all they can with what they're given. This is the ultimate reality show. Everyone should see it.

Clay ("Murderball")
Chick magnets, John, boy were you caught up in the spirit of the XY chromosome male. I’ll bet you were even hoping that Bush would send John “Damaged goods” Bolton to be our butt kicking rep at the UN.

But come on, folks, even though “Murderball” IS an engrossing film about real life quadriplegics who have learning to channel their anger through competition, aggression is not the only way to deal with the misfortunes that life sometimes visits upon us. Case in point, the more giving and forgiving life-style choices made by the late Christopher Reeve.

Nevertheless, Murderball, is a tightly edited, fast paced, and brutally honest documentary that will have you sitting on the edge of your seats in amazement as the movie’s so-called handicapped men demonstrate on camera, that it takes more than physical damage to keep a good man down.

John (“Dukes of Hazzard”)
The Dukes of Hazzard is a witless romp in a Dodge Charger named General Lee outwitting an inept but good ol'boy sheriff and his boss, Boss Hogg, played by a miscast Burt Reynolds.

But the movie is fun if you let it be all it is, which is not much. This updated version of the late '70's TV show is an audience pleaser, not just for Jessica Simpson's skimpy outfits, but also for the inane antics that the hotrodding, irresponsible hillbillies do repetitiously. The redeeming social value of the film, besides highlighting the eternal stereotyping of Southerners, is the ill will toward a coal mining industry that threatens to strip mine the entire town, actually not a bad idea if the movie went that way as well.

The General Lee is a durable car; the TV show and the film may have that same longevity for an undemanding audience that might not know its pigs from its pokes.

Clay (“Dukes of Hazzard”)
Folks, if you don’t know a pig from a poke, then you probably also don’t know that there’s more to Georgia than that I-95 six hour drive from the mountains of Tennessee to the beaches of Florida. But if you’re flying high in a ‘69 Charger with Jessica Simpson blasting Sweet Kisses out of your quads, what matters?

And if the new “Dukes of Hazzard” is as full of stereotypes as a poke full of buzzards, then as long as they keep you laughing, who cares?

And if your dying to know if Jessica Simpson is cuter and sexier than Brittany Spears, then you really need a life the movies won’t give you.

All in all, sometimes you’ll laugh at the movie’s red-necked humor, sometimes you won’t. Sometimes Jessica babe is sexy, sometimes she’s not. And sometimes the Dukes of Hazzard will have your sides splitting in laughter but never so much as when you the out-takes roll at the end of the movie’s credits.

But enough of armored wheelchairs, supercharged males, and lip glossed southern belles, John, because it’s grading time.

John
Hooray!

"Dukes of Hazzard" earns a C because I can SEE what the audience likes but I don't have to like it. . .

Clay
"Dukes of Hazzard" gets a D because the longer it goes the dumber it gets . . .

John
"Murderball” earns an A for AUTHENTIC athletics . . .

Clay
"Murderball” gets a B because Big Bad Boys don’t always deliver. . .

John
Clay--You spent time in Georgia. Are the women really as stupid and sexy as Jessica Simpson?

Clay
Sexy yes, stupid no - because, even today, there isn’t an Alpha male in Athens that a sweet little ole southern belle can’t bring to heel in a pine woods or a pasture . . .

I'm outta here

See you at the movies, folks.

HIT MUSIC

Richelle:

The Award Winning "It's Movie Time" with John DeSando and Clay Lowe is written and produced by John DeSando and Clay Lowe in conjunction with 90.5 FM, WCBE in Columbus and 106.7 FM in Newark.

MUSIC UP AND OUT

© 2005 John DeSando and Clay Lowe