WCBE 90.5 FM: "Charlotte's Web," "The Pursuit of Happyness," "The Holiday"

WCBE 90.5 FM
It's Movie Time: "Charlotte's Web," "The Pursuit of Happyness," "The Holiday"
Co-hosts, writers & producers: John DeSando & Clay Lowe
Air Time: Friday, 3:01 pm and 8:01 pm, December 15, 2006
Streaming live on the web at http://www.wcbe.org .

Clay

"Charlotte's Web" is a live action version of a famous farmyard story . . .

John

"The Pursuit of Happyness" is the pursuit of BOREDOM . . .

Clay

"The Holiday" is all fluffy white pillows and lovers with bright shiny teeth . . .

HIT MUSIC, THEN UP THEN UNDER FOR:

Richelle"

"It's Movie Time" in Columbus with John DeSando and Clay Lowe . . .

MUSIC BRIEFLY UP THEN SLOWLY DOWN AND OUT

John

I'm John DeSando . . .

Clay

I'm Clay Lowe . . .

John ("Charlotte's Web" 129 words)

Clay: The Maine farm is idealized, as if there were no smells from farting cows or slops muddying the barn. In the new Charlotte’s Web both are sweetly displayed in a pristine world where a pig wins your heart and a spider is all heart.

This new version, standing proudly with the first Babe, is refreshing with understated computer graphics and an absence of sardonic pop culture references. Just a solid classic where a lovely spider named Charlotte (the voice of Julia Roberts, which may be her best work yet!) saves a loveable spring piglet runt named Wilbur (Dominic Scott Kay) from the smokehouse by relying on OUR only effective arsenal, Dr., words.

This film, together with the word-heavy History Boys, has renewed my enthusiasm for solid, satisfying holiday fare.

Clay ("Charlotte's Web" 128 words)

"Charlotte's Web” IS a satisfying movie, folks, though it’s a tad too cutesy and about a spoonful of sugar too sweet. Sorry, John, Julia’s Charlotte is a bit too precious for me. Spiders are much more interesting when they have a more sinister edge. But you’re right, Julia’s voice is probably more true to the author’s intentions.

The movie is saved for us cynics, however, by the nasty barnyard rodent as voiced by the lovingly slimy Steve Buscemi, who in many of his own real-life movies finds himself playing a rat.

Not surprisingly words rule the day in this barnyard created by the imaginative mind E. B. White and it’s his elements of style, both verbal and visual, that rule that the day.

A holiday plum for the whole family pudding, indeed.

"John ("The Pursuit of Happyness" 126 words)

Here’s a sour plum.

The Pursuit of Happyness has a down and out dad in 1981 who tries to gain employment at Dean Witter by joining an unpaid internship program. All the charm of Will Smith as a bright but sometimes dimwitted bone density scanner salesman in pricey San Francisco couldn’t possibly pay bills there.

How mom could let a cute kid go to an underachieving father and how he could sell out his stock of useless scanners within a month are just two of the plot holes in a holiday film that makes a strong case for his incompetence.

Because of a malfunction, I missed the last reel. The story up to this
point wasn’t worth telling anyway.

Let’s lace the nog with rum and forget art at its most mediocre.

Clay ("The Holiday" 130 words)

The movie "The Holiday" features an all star cast who in other films have dazzled us on screen. Think the feisty Kate Winslet, the irascible Jack Black, the infectious Cameron Diaz, and the boyishly handsome Jude Law. Sounds like it COULD have been a winner.

Sure writer-director Nancy Meyers had a bit of a loser in her "What Women Want," but that starred a miscast Mel Gibson, who didn't look that great in panty hose. Jack Nicholson, however, brought down the house with her directed and scripted "Something's Gotta Give.”

Her new film, however, "The Holiday," appears to be nothing more than a feel-good film designed to help lonely ladies fill in the empty spaces of their lives during holidays.

At that level, it may be a winner.

But enough of barnyard hijinks, unhappy daddies, and romanceless old maidens, John, because it’s grading time.

HIT DRUMS, THEN UNDER FOR

John

Holy HOG HEAVEN, Hooray

"Charlotte's Web" earns an A because you’re certain to lose your ARACHNOPHOBIA

Clay

"Charlotte's Web" gets an “A” because AUDACIOUS ANIMALS will ALWAYS win their way into your hearts . . .

John

"The Pursuit of Happyness" earns a “C” for its CHRISTMAS CHUMP . . .

Clay

"The Holiday" gets an "F" because it’s too FRIGGIN’ pretty for an old grump like me . . .

John

Clay, I’m going to find a PIG to make my holiday sloppy and sexy.

I'm outta here.

Clay

John, old hams like you never die, they just sizzle or fizzle away.

I'm outa here, too.

See you at the movies, folks.

HIT CLOSING THEME THEN UNDER FOR

Clay:

The Award-Winning "It's Movie Time" with John DeSando and Clay Lowe is written produced by John DeSando and Clay Lowe in conjunction with 90.5 FM,WCBE in Columbus, Ohio.

MUSIC UP, THEN DOWN AND OUT

Copyright by John DeSando & Clay Lowe, 2006